As we continue to take this journey through a pandemic together, I am struck with the realization that my own complacency has taken over my life. Without me being able to see it. It has moved like a slow poison into my everyday decisions. It is so subtle, so soft & sneaky..because well, there is something about it that feels welcome, that feels safe.
I am only now peeling away the layers that have begun to cake over my eyes. I can see with greater clarity where I am not choosing life. I am looking at all the times I choose to stay in, to not connect, to isolate myself & take for granted that there will be more time. “Oh, I have plenty of time for that..” the continual mantra playing on repeat in my mind.
But that’s not true, is it? This illusion of having enough time. I can’t help but look at how much time I have been wasting. How much I have not been appreciating in my life. I get this one, wild & beautiful life. I have fallen into the dangerous pattern of routines that aren’t serving me.
With so much time to slow down and really look at my life, I am able to discern what is no longer working for me. This pace I have been moving at isn’t working for me. I am in constant burn out, racing from one class or appointment to the next. And the thing is, I have become so used to it, that this is my normal.
Where are the parts of my life that are feeding me back? Why have I been continuing to live in a way that does not feel soul-nourishing? The questions that are coming up out of this stillness are so valuable. One question leading me to the next...okay, so what does living a soul-nourishing life look like? I have been letting this one sink in. I have the time & space to really look inside for the answers that ring with truth.
I cannot continue to live steeped in such complacency. It is a slow death that creeps in silently, promising that tomorrow you can take care of that thing. You have time to pursue your dreams...later..when you aren’t so tired, overwhelmed, busy, etc. Until one day, you realize that your tomorrows are not guaranteed. We do not have infinite tomorrows.
In a strange way, I am grateful that the world is slowing down so we can take a good look at the way we are living. Is this the world we want? I find myself listing everything I am grateful for these days. The release of living from a place of complacency is a beautiful gift.
Complacency is a slow death. I choose life. I choose to be here. I choose to show up with my gifts & learn how to share them.. to give them away. I am choosing this wildly beautiful & messy life that is mine.
Where can you show up more fully for yourself in your life right now?
What new world do we want to create together?
What does living a soul-nourishing life feel like?
I am deeply humbled & grateful to have arrived in this space.
Sending big love out to the world right now! xoxo
