Do you know what a fence sitter is? Someone who cannot seem to make a decision. They are torn between the what-ifs. To the point, where they live their life sitting on the fence. Directly in between the decisions they could make for themselves, but choose not to. Which in itself, is a decision. You are still participating, even though it may feel you are not, by choosing to remain indecisive.
There’s an idea that if you make a decision, you will be “missing out” on all these other options. So, it makes sense to stay open for all those experiences you could potentially be missing out on. Except, the decision to not choose, to not fully explore an experience, is the most limiting decision you could possibly make for yourself.
You are missing out on SO much by living your life on the fence. While others are choosing to jump off the fence into a world of adventures, mistakes, regrets and experiences. Where the decision to commit to ONE thing for a while ends up opening multiple doors along the way. Opportunity begets opportunity. The doors will continue opening, down a labyrinth path, heading towards what your heart yearns for. We are always being led to the places we are meant to be.
This doesn’t happen on the fence though. You do not get to experience the magic that commitment brings. Fence sitters live in the illusion of having a multitude of options around them. But it is just that...an illusion.
“We like to pretend it is hard to follow our heart’s dreams. The truth is, it is difficult to avoid walking through the many doors that will open. Turn aside your dream and it will come back to you again. Get willing to follow it again and a second mysterious door will swing open…
Take a small step in the direction of a dream and watch the synchronous doors flying open. Seeing, after all, is believing.” This is from ‘The Artist’s Way by: Julia Cameron. Who speaks directly to making the commitment to your art journey. Without the commitment, you are just floating. You end up living in a world of excuses, procrastination, wishy-washy tendencies and ultimately, not much action towards your goals.
There is a slow magic to commitment. Whether it is a commitment to your health, your career, your relationship, your art, your music..a slow and delightful energy begins to unfold around you. New people are drawn to you seemingly out of thin air, with just the piece of information you have been looking for. You begin to notice a deep reservoir of strength that has always been alive inside you that starts bubbling to the surface. You suddenly dive into a deep layer of love with your partner that you hadn’t been able to reach before.
Leap and the net will appear.
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (or creation) there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too.
All sorts of things occur to help one that would otherwise never have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man would have believed would have come his way.” -W. H. Murray from ‘The Scottish Himalayan Expedition’.
So, is it really worth it to continue sitting on the fence? The price you are paying to stay on the fence seems very high. Action has magic, grace, power, momentum & fire. It carries you on its wings of trust into the next chapter of your life. Fence-sitting or non-action is disempowering, does not create momentum in the direction of your dreams, is dull and cultivates more stagnant energy. Which creates more stagnant choices.
That feels like too high of a price for me to continue paying.
What decisions have you been putting off?
What difficult conversations are you not having? For fear of the potential decisions that would need to be made from it.
These are the questions I am asking myself right now. The more I commit to my art, my body, my relationship, to the parts of my life that fill me up...the happier I feel lately. I’ve been having the difficult conversations, waking up early to commit to having time to write and make art and looking at the decisions I still have yet to make.
“I have learned, as a rule of thumb, never to ask whether you can do something. Say, instead, that you are doing it. Then fasten your seat belt. The most remarkable things follow.” -The Artist’s Way